Let us look at the
trend today; having a beloved by your side during any visits, on picnics,
tours, games, in offices, during travels is a crown on the manhood which one
tries to achieve as a man. The love-fever in men makes men hungry for creating
impressions in the mind of their beloved, consider this; “Oh wow! You did that!
How sweet”, isn’t this what everyone went through when one was lost in those
love filled good old days? Pardon me; if I am offending anyone who didn’t have to
be like what I just mentioned, truly these are my observations.
The pride that
comes with having a beloved is most enjoying! That it makes men happy, wise and
prompt in doing things which one wishes to undertake. For a spoilt brat like
me, when in high school, there was one such girl named Tshering!
She was one intelligent girl with good looks. When I saw her in school, I was
longing to talk to her somehow or the other. Now, I have a special reason for
not missing any classes, games, study periods and outings because of the pride
associated. I would stare at her during the classes and we coincidentally
happen to be in the same class. What more could you wish for when someone you
admire sits in close proximity to you? I was awestruck with the charm she possessed,
and her simplicity in whatever she does made me admire her a little more every
now and then.
As a high school
kid, I had an added advantage over girls (All grownups). I was a cute little
tiny tot then. Due to this fact every girl in my school kissed me on my cheek
saying, “Gadim chi cute dhu, (How cute)”. So I knew every fresher in my school,
every old girl who had become a little plump over the vacations and it was as
if I was in charge of the girls in the school. Pema (Name changed) was one such
girl. She will not go into the class until she kisses me. I would rather
interpret it as a filial love because she was senior to me. During the weekends
she used to come near the boy’s hostel and call my name, wanting to take my
clothes for washing. I would smilingly hand over my dirty clothes to her and by
evening my clothes would be ironed smooth, perfume sprayed and a packet of
potato chips would be in the bag. She used to bring pickles for me during the
meals. This was the life that I used to have as a high school kid. The high
school days were carefree and all things that came across were filled with
excitement and I was always anxious about what would follow next.
My big break came
when I was in college when I fell for a seemingly charming girl. She was
outwardly joyful but it was much later that I came to know of her mental
playfulness. My friends teased me whenever they had the opportunity and she
came to know me at last. My buddies forced me to propose her and then when I
finally did, it was an accident. I went near Girls hostel and she was busy in
the TV hall with some movies. There I told her the fact that killed me for so
long. After I made my declaration, she smiled and I took it as a definite
‘yes’. I was on top of the world. It
didn’t take much pain to win her but this always remained a mystery in my mind
till now.
Her love for me
was a special and a privileged relationship. We went for visits and get
together at our friends place and I cherished those moments with much awe. We
spent a year long relationship with love and affection all the way. When I
passed out I felt as if a part of me was left behind and there was something
missing in me somehow. I used to visit her and she was there holding onto the
commitment that we made when we first met each other. Everyone was quite happy
with what I was doing and some showered advises and some suggestions!
It was an awesome
relationship that I had made for myself with my own share of tribulations and
hardships. I used to visit her during the breaks and I even took her to my
parents place in Chukha. My father and mother were so happy and they liked her
very much. Every person in Chukha knew my recent development. When I went to
visit her once I did some shopping for her and met her friends who had come for
vacations.
Again during the
following winter break we met in Thimphu and because of some unknown reason we
had a good quarrel. Then things started to go wrong. A few months later, I was
on election duty as a polling officer to some distant village. It was 2008
March and we were getting things ready for the first ever general elections in
the history of our country. I and a team of four teachers were preparing hard
in arranging the polling station which was a dining hall of the school in the
village. Suddenly my phone rang and I was shocked to hear it, because I was
unaware that the village was connected by mobile network. I had left it on a
table after I was done listening to
some songs. I yelled, “That’s my phone” my other friend, “Yes, Lobzang”. I ran
to table and picked “hello”. A familiar voice was at the other end of the phone
and it was her friend. I was told, “Lobzang, I have some bad news for you”, I
was like a long ‘Whhhhaaaaatttttt what’s wrong? And she replied, “She is going
around with someone and she wouldn’t listen to us despite repeated advices”.
Her talks were ironically telling me to end the entire affair. I believed in
her words because she was her roommate and a close friend.
I was numb in my
bones for a moment and answered, “Thanks for the news and wait for my call”. I
put it off. I was pretending in front of others as if nothing had happened but
actually the whole sky was crashing down on me. Then we arranged a few tables,
voting compartment, voting machines etc. in a desperate mood.
My later part of
life came to a complete halt when I was leaving my school for the vacations.
There again a call from the very girl who called me earlier (during the
elections). This time the hot news was “she is 6 months pregnant”. I am
definitely not to be blamed. I by now made up my mind not to succumb to such
ill happenings in my life.
I have all the big
and small reasons for this to happen because in NIE there are more choices,
particularly when you are looking for one which suits you. I too had this
luxury when I was a trainee then. More often it would be the juniors that would
look excitingly pretty and ravishing, by looks of course! From around 700-800
trainees in a semester back then, it is more normal to lose your love string
with one and look for other greener suitors. For those who were pre-married
before joining NIE, it was a disaster in the making. Choices are abundant for
girls and boys alike. The chemistry of love is at its full swing and at its
pinnacle.
For the next
coincidence, all teachers who graduated in the years 2006, 2007 and 2008 were
to report to NIE Paro for the convocation. I was excited to meet all the
trainees of my batch. I had indeed waited for this momentous occasion. All teachers from Zhemgang who were my batch
went for the big event. Our hopes were high because K5
was the guest of honor. On my way to the college premises for the rehearsal, I
and some of my friends were returning after we selected a gown and a hat for
ourselves for the next big day.
Then disaster stroke!
I saw her who was dressed fine and her good old elegant face was bright. But to
make her more worthy of her womanhood, there was a slight swell in her
abdominal part. The call was right. She literally was what I was told about.
And I also could see her pretending not to have seen me. She changed her look
as if something had happened and I was feeling pity on the poor soul. My friend
Yeshey boldly told me, “she is nervous” and in fact she was. “Why do you have
to look at her when she is ignoring you”, declared he. I smiled back at him and
silence followed for a while.
Then I went to the
bench where I once sat with her during the NIE days. We would spend hours
talking about our family and their differing outlook on marriages, the type of
cars we want ourselves to own someday, the school where we would like to teach,
and interesting of all we also jointly designed our bedroom and the number of
TV sets that should be installed in our utopian home. Everything was perfect
and it seemed to me that I was the only happy being in the entire world until
that March-election morning. Splash! I realized this in the 21st
century when William Shakespeare did it in the Renaissance that, “Easy winning makes the fruit light”.
An excerpt from Lobzang Nima's book titled "Beyond the call of daily life",
Q-Reprographics, Thimphu, 2011 (ISBN: 978-99936-824-0-0)
