All of us
have cousins who are like-minded and lend hand when we undertake whatever chores.
It can vary beginning household chores, washing cars or going for a new years’
bash to some distant place. People feel safe when one is with kith and kin
instead of friends. Even the ‘say-holders’ in a typical Bhutanese family set up will agree to whatever you do
if the company you have is either a kith or a kin.
Can this be
the official help cousins render? Sometime in life help may come knocking at
the doorstep but we are so blinded that we think about our cousins and forget
the immediacy of human beings around. I have an all-knowing-saint cousin. She was an academic misery, her first
marriage failed, and while lamenting over her misfortune, she met a friend and took
her for work to some island nation in south East Asia. After working there for
a couple of years, her earnings there translated into a plot of land in P/ling
and a small one in Thimphu. A family car for her dad! Now a cottage under
construction in the capital city, away from town!
This girl
made good money for her people back home and they were at the epitome of their
happiness. Her mother with a grin from one ear to the other charged with a
sense of pride told me, “Gocho, ja ga zamin ghi, ata nan ghi sho hang away ya?”
(Look at my daughter! What did you do brother?) The irony is I was working when
her daughter didn’t even get a job. One can ponder on the intent of that lady,
and this lady happens to be my closest maternal aunt.
“Gila moh,
jang ta to-lop ghi lang pu mala ni” (Oh! Is it, my salary is barely enough to
make ends meet). But the tone in which I uttered those words were not
impressive, she changed her expression.
I am neither
against the bounty my cousin brought back home nor do I intend to claim some
shares from her. Let it be and this will remain forever embedded in our hearts
that someone could at least make some pretty good money. Appreciation! But let
me come back to the question, “What have I done?” She should have asked ‘What
have I not done?’
During my
initial years in my job, for four consecutive years, I sent mom on pilgrimages
to the neighboring country along with her friends, including that lady. I just didn’t send her I sent her good money.
I send money to my mother frequently, opened a savings account in her name and
taught her how to withdraw cash from ATMs, although I have a working dad. I
have dedicated a book in her name in which a chapter is solely written for her.
And some day I will build a nice bungalow for her in a serene place and not in
a dusty-hustle-bustling town.
Morally, it
falls on the children to look after their aging parents but it is ethically
wrong to advertise this in a social family set up where most members are after
the green note-the world’s most powerful currency. Such comparison or people
making such comparisons will make them forget the basic values that god vested
in us-love, care and feelings! Love for your own child revitalized and
rekindled just for money. I can summarize my write up in the following line,
please do ponder;
When an elderly woman talks about money more than anything, she
has lost the most beautiful charm of her motherhood, think again!
Thanks for reading!
