I have seen hundreds of movies (love stories) and read love story books even more. I have been a bystander for all the epic love stories that mankind has ever produced in writing. Helen of Troy, the legend of Mumtaz Mahal, the myth of Cupid, Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, Love letters of John Keats-the Romanticist, our very own Gasa Lamai Singye, etc… are some prominent imprints in my mind.
I too lived through times of love and I also loved one if not many-genuinely. Pardon me for the line! I am also a matter that constitutes this massive earth. I too have stories of love, despair and regrets. This is one shrewd thing I thought of writing after contemplating silence for several days. Now that I am married I don’t intend to offend anyone with this update.
I am sure all folks must have gone through what I am trying to put this through. I was genuinely in love with a girl back then. I have a mention of her in my mind always and she was the inspiration of some of my scribbles and write ups. I cherished this bond with much awe. Due to some misunderstanding and due to my overemphasized ego of course, I made her like me which I am sure. Later, I was so lost in her that I forgot she had someone even before me. This thought stirred all sorts of anger and jealousy in me. It in fact stirred everything around me affecting me in multiplicity of other things that I am used to. Such is the law of attraction, some fatal of course.
May be she kept on smiling at me and this was enough to make my day. Having her around was the most valuable and cherished thing in my life. On a lazy day, her passionate thought would make me undertake even the most arduous of the chores. I knew this feeling only when I felt for her. I knew the sense of loss when she wasn’t around. I missed her with every ounce of my heart and knew what missing someone you care for really is. I learned what was to be polite when I was with her. Although, I had her around just for a brief moment, in those brief moments I was to completely undergo a metamorphosis. She was the raison d’être that ignited all positive thoughts and opinion about the world around me.
But I don’t know whether she liked me or not back then, but now she is no more. I am mentioning of my first genuine crush on someone who now has left this earth. She left for the heavenly abode leaving me devastated and the person whom she was in love with. May her soul rest in peace and in the heavens too, I wish her to inspire and be the subject of love just as she did on earth. I have no grandeur of monuments to immortalize you like the Taj Mahal or the wooden horse of the Greeks to win you back but I just have a simple prayer to say which I must say. This has been my prayer to you and will always be as long as life breathes in me.
I have a being up there,
She whispers me in your heavens and in your ears,
Keep her happy my humble earthly wish breathes,
Unwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark clothes,
Of might and light and the half light,
I would spread my clothes under your feet,
But I, being poor, have only my dreams:
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams…
-Thank you WB Yeats for these immortal lines (in italics)